It was a tough week but I still managed to pull it through. I finally went on to a cabin crew recruitment and much to my dismay, I didn’t get in. Of course, it hurts and it stings. The pain lingered on for a moment. But there’s nothing I can do but to rise up again. Surprisingly, I’m on a better state now. I’m still alive and kicking.

I don’t want to elaborate further on what happened during that day. All I know is that the dream ignited something inside my soul. It made me realized that this is what I really wanted to do. I may not fully understand what comes with the job and why I badly want it, but all I know is that I am born to do this. I am born to be a flight attendant. It’s what I really want in life.

With that being said, I realized I have a lot of growing up to do especially on how I deal with life. I think part of the reason I didn’t get in was because of how I carry myself. These people see right through me. They’ve seen my flaws and it reflects too much on the outside. It sucks but I really need to improve myself.

I’m still having an identity-crisis. Aside from the girl who loves watching K-dramas, who am I? What are my beliefs? What do I stand for? It seems like I’m just going with the current. I’m going with the flow.

I just stopped. ‘Coz I seemingly can’t think of other words to continue this journal. It dawned on me that I am so imperfect and I don’t like how I handle my life. Is there any guide on how to be tough, independent and sassy just like the other ladies I know from afar? How many trials should I experience for me to become the woman I wanted to be?

It’s really hard to have a face-to-face battle with Life. It’s hard to challenge it.

I have a lot of emotional baggages right now and so I’m not fully updating this corner of my internet. I also realized that nothing is happening in my life. There’s no twist and turns. There’s not much excitement. My life is boring.

If I will write all the thoughts that’s in my mind, I will only be reminded of so many things that I want to forget even for the meantime. I want to bury pending responsibilities or how impulsive I am in almost everything.


But please, self, here’s one thing that you have to remember: You are not perfect and you have your own fair share of flaws. And it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. Don’t let hurtful words hinder you to learn more about life and yourself. Don’t let other people dictate what you have to do in life. The only person who knows what’s best for you is yourself. How you handle life is your responsibility; they’re just bystanders. Don’t let them crush you. Don’t let them belittle you. You are your own version of beauty and classy. And one day, you’ll look back with all these dilemmas, with all the people who think less of you and you’ll be glad you’ve experienced all of this. Because this will make you who you are.

You’ll get over this, soon. You’ll find your place in the world. So, forget about the past. Forget about the people who doesn’t appreciate you. Forget about everything that’s blocking your way.

Create a better version of you. Be bold enough. Read more books. Go out some more. Meet new people.

Change your perspective and your perspective will change you.

You are more worthy than a diamond. Shine bright and let your light beams all throughout that surrounds you.





Korean Drama: Because This Life is our First

Warning: The article might contains spoilers.

I’ve been in an on and off relationship with dramas this year. I have some fair share of dramas that I watched and most of it I liked but wasn’t able to find a new drama that could be included in my top ten all-time loved dramas. When While You Were Sleeping is nearing its premiere, I know that I’m on my way of loving K-dramas again. After all, I noticed dramas of Lee Jong Suk serves as a catalyst for me to be totally addicted with K-dramas (eg. I Hear Your Voice, Pinocchio, W-Two Worlds). I watched While You Were Sleeping and I love it but a different drama totally stole my heart.

I’ve heard Jung So Min’s new drama and utterly delighted because I really love her in My Father is Strange. But, but… I’m not that interested because I still have a hangover with her loveline with Lee Joon. And so my mind was truly excited for While You Were Sleeping.


Oh boy, was I so wrong.


I tried watching with NO expectations at all. Not a total fan of Lee Min Ki and I just really watched because I want to see Jung So Min in a different drama,andI was a bit interested since cohabitation/marriage contract is one of the greatest drive for romance when it comes to K-dramas. Who doesn’t love this kind of plot, right? As cliche as it may seems, this kind of stories never gets old.

Because This Life is our First is a kind of food that is OKAY when you first taste it but as you devour each bite, you came to realize that IT WAS, OH SO, GOOD and kept you wanting for more. I didn’t even notice that I am loving every bit of the episode and I just found myself waiting for Tuesdays and Wednesdays to come fast so I can watch new episodes. It has a slice of life feel into it and the use of cliches felt more realistic as we watch all characters in their everyday life. You know, sometimes we just don’t notice it, but our own lives can be cliche as well. This is what I love about this drama. It mirrors reality. In one way or another, with the different situations happening in our life, we can relate to them; their pain, their agony, their happiness resembles of what could truly happen in real life.

All characters felt three-dimensional. They are like real people and not fictional characters. I always say this, I am drawn with any stories in which characters felt real; that they are real people out there, somewhere in an alternate universe, and we are lucky to have seen a glimpse of their life. We’re lucky to see their journey.

It’s not only the main characters who are interesting, even the side characters have their own story to tell. They have their bumpy roads in life. They have their dilemma. It’s really cool that they weren’t there to drive the main characters to be together; they also have their own story to tell and still was a great support for our main characters.

Just to give you a short synopsis of what the story is.. Yoon Ji Ho(Jung So Min) is an aspiring writer and as she reach 30, she is still an assistant writer of some makjang dramas. Life gets on her way and she realizes she needs a place that she can consider as home. She meets Nam Se Hee who needs a roommate so he can pay the mortgage of his house. Circumstances occur and so they decided to be under a marriage contract and started living together. Now, this is where their story truly began.

I am actually amazed as each episode goes by. It’s getting better and better. On the former episodes we only hear Ji Ho’s perspective and struggles under this marriage life but when the show started showing us Se Hee’s thoughts, I was totally sold with this OTP. I am bewitched, for lack of a better term. This drama is GOLD.


screenshot (c) dramabeans

Personally, marriage is something that I’ve scratched off my list for quite a while now. That’s why as I watched the show and seeing Ji Ho slowly falling in love with Se Hee I just thought, oh no, girl, you just let yourself jump off the cliff! especially seeing how stoic Se Hee is when it comes to everything! But they just managed to slowly realize the good traits of one another and appreciates it. I love their relationship, whether as a tenant-landlord or as a fake couple to slowly being a real couple.

There’s still last two episode that will be airing this week *sobs* and I can’t wait for them to start a REAL relationship. I just really hope the writer is totally sober all throughout and give us a satisfying ending! Because this last two episodes might make or break it! Pleaseeee, writer-nim, we have high hopes!!

What I also love about this drama is how they handle different struggles of people in their 30s, which I must say not only for those who are in this age but also adulting as a whole! It’s just really hard to fully face a battle with Life ‘coz sometimes you don’t know what it’ll throw unto you. It’s full of surprises resulting to impulsive choices, wrong decisions and such.

This drama also has good conversations! I especially love conversations of Se Hee and Ji Ho and also the way they use literature to further explain their feelings (which ia a good thing since Ji Ho is a writer). The use of the novel, Room 19 and the movie, The Graduate as a use to drive the plot or for the characters to understand each other was really amazing for me.

These are some of the lines that touched me (and I’m editing it out to add more!):

“Words are born from people’s mouths and die in their ears. But some words don’t die They go into people’s hearts and survive.”

These was based on a poem (I forgot the title)

“The fact that someone comes to you

is actually a tremendous


Because he

and his past

and the present


also his future come with


Because his life comes with


It’s easily broken

and therefore could have


the heart that comes.”

This one is my personal favorite:

“When I decided to follow my dream, I thought my life would be like walking through a dark tunnel. But I didn’t know it was going to be this dark. I didn’t know it was going to be this lonely.”

There are actually a lot of it! But these three are my favorites! Lots of good thoughts to ponder right there!


I also love the friendship in this drama. The trio who’s always there for each other to talk about anything under the sun. It’s nice to have friends like that, who will cheer you on in times of trouble and accomplishment. Friends who will keep you sane when the going gets rough. And a friend who understands you at your weirdest personality (ehem, Ma Sang Goo 😅😂)


To be honest, I’m not yet ready to say goodbye to this drama. Can you please give me a hundred episodes of this drama? ‘Coz I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of all the characters. My Tuesdays and Wednesdays won’t be the same anymore starting next week.

Everything about this drama is so damn good. Starting from the actors, who breathe life with the character they were given to them, to the drama’s attention to details, the OSTs (guys, listen to OSTs!! It’s really pleasing to the ears!!).

I think this just not enter the Top 10 of my most loved dramas, it automatically became the TOP 1 FAVORITE DRAMA OF ALL TIME.

If you love K-dramas and still not watching this, do yourselves a favor and watch this! This is a gem in dramaland! A lot of people are raving about this already!!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to rewatch all episodes again before the last two episodes air tonight and tomorrow!




Once upon a time we were filled with hopes and dreams, assuring ourselves that when we got to the future there is nothing but bliss and success. When we’re still young we were beaming with happiness knowing that we have laid out our plans and start chasing our dreams. Fast forward to now and we realized that life is not colorful. It’s black and white. We have to fill different colors as we go on and live this journey. We are awakened and slapped by the truth that this life will not be beautiful on its own. All our plans will not be fulfilled. There are surprising twists and turns. There are people who we thought will stay with us forever, but will just really passed by.

It’s not always happiness. It’s waking up every morning and telling to self that let’s just go through with it and sleep. Repeat.

How to finish this..

How to stop this…