Japanese Drama: Long Vacation

I was a bum for two months now and I am losing every ounce of hope I managed to muster for a time. And in rough times like this, I always drown myself in series that I can relate to; a series that will make me feel alive even for a short while. Guess what, I found it in a 23 year-old drama.

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I am actually remembering how I came across with this drama considering it’s a really old drama. It aired 1996 and Kimura Takuya’s youthfulness in here makes me even harder to resist.

Okay. I give up. I really can’t remember how I found out this drama. My initial impression upon watching the first episode is nostalgia. The resolution of the video itself will make you know that it’s an old drama. The scene started with a lady in a traditional japanese gown running on the streets of Japan, seemingly hurried, worried and pissed of for an unknown reason that is yet to be revealed. Later, we found out that she went to an apartment looking for her supposedly husband because their wedding is on that day and few minutes before the ceremony starts, her husband doesn’t arrive yet. What she saw is a different, confused man, not sure what was happening as he just woke up by a loud knock on the door. And this, my folks, is where the riot and blooming love starts.

Our main gal is Hayama Minami, a 31-year old woman who was left off by her fiance before their wedding ceremony starts. She is a model but after the incident, and because of her age as well, she is struggling to get new gigs as a model. She’s broke because she invest most of her money for the wedding and for her fiance. She decided to live in her fiance’s old apartment together with his roommate, Sena Hidetoshi.  Sena is a 24-year old piano instructor for kids who aims to won in a big piano competition. His life begins to changed when Minami started living in his apartment.

My most favorite scene in this drama is at the end of Episode 2, where Sena explains to Minami that they are in a long vacation which is also the title of this drama. He said that amidst the struggles they are in right now, better things are coming even if they won’t do anything. That they are in a long vacation and soon it will end; something new will arise.

WOW. Those words got sucked into my heart as if I am the one being comforted by Sena and not Minami. I am always engaged in a drama that speaks to the very depth of my soul and I feel like Long Vacation reflects the season of my life right now. I see myself in some parts of Minami or Sena or even in the supporting characters. Everyone is struggling; everyone wants to be in the light. Here’s the conversation of Sena and Minami in the ending scene of Episode 2, which resonates in me:

Sena: There’s no spotlight on the supporting role. The cameras don’t even go after the supporting role. What rigid rules.

Minami: The movie?

Sena: No, life.

Minami: When will it be my turn? What am I doing? I played panchiko all day.

Sena: Why don’t you think of it this way? It’s a long vacation. 

Minami: Long Vacation?

Sena: There’s no reason to rush. There are times where no matter what you do, it doesn’t work out. No matter what you do, it’s no good. At times like that, it may sound strange but.. Why don’t you think it’s a vacation from God? Don’t force yourself. Don’t rush. Don’t try hard. Just let everything to take is natural course. 

Minami: Then?

Sena:  Things will improve.

Minami: Really?

Sena: Probably…

Minami: Probably…

I felt the comfort and ease on a very personal level. I empathize with the characters, knowing the pain, worry and frustration that feels like a domino effect. The feeling that no matter how hard you try, nothing good is coming out of the situation. Maybe that’s why I can relate – because I am currently experiencing it right now. Somehow, this words of Sena gave me hope. It gave me an assurance that soon everything will fall in its proper place; and that I just have to believe that things will improve, no matter how blurry it seems in the present.

This is the series that mirrors mine; and I am happy I stumbled upon this drama.

Romance

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If we talk about their individual characters, both actors managed to make their roles come to life. Tomoko Yamaguchi as the badass, sassy lady Minami is a character I hoped I could be in the future. Sure, she has flaws but I saw growth in her throughout the course of the drama. She’s a strong, free-spirited woman but with emotional baggages too.

I liked how meek, cool and reserved Sena is which is also wonderfully portrayed by Kimura Takuya. You could say I am hypnotized by the “Kimutaku Charm”. I don’t usually watch jdramas but his charisma on-screen is really evident.

I like their rapport as a couple, and their chemistry both as their characters and actors sizzle on-screen. I like that even though this is an old drama, it’s not a statue kissing. Overall, I can’t say anything bad with their romance. Everything is fast-paced, there are no unnecessary scenes or heavy conflicts. They also have nice rapport with the supporting characters.

More than the romance, I am merely drawn with their journey while they are on long vacation. I feel sad when Sena decided to give up playing piano because nothing good is coming out of it. I also like it when he went back to his passion because there is one person who believes in him and wants to hear him playing piano. Of course, that person is Minami.

There are areas of this drama that might seem cliche already because we can see a lot of this used in romcom dramas. But to be honest, I don’t have problems with it. I still found this drama light, enjoyable and feel-good. Something you can watch whatever emotions you’re in – whether happy or lonely.

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I would highly recommend this jdorama. If you could see pass its oldness then you are in for a good ride. I am actually writing an entry about this drama because it’s been eating me up for days now. I am just so addicted. When I wake up, I would remember the characters. In my idle moments, I would see some scenes in my mind. Whenever I feel like this way in the dramas that I watched, I just have the need to write about it so I can release the love I have for the drama. And for me to go through my life as well, I have to let go and realized that I’m not living in their world. I have my own and I have to deal with it too. Wow, that’s a severe post-withdrawal symptom I got there.

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And so this is it. As hard as it may seem, Show, I have to let go of you now. You will always have a place in my heart. The impact you made in my drama-watching is so severe but in a good way. Someday, I would also like to experience seeing the end of this long vacation that I’m in right now. Yes, I am in a long vacation; and soon, everything will be alright. Everything will be good again.

Oh, did I also mentioned how La la la love song plays in my mind the entire time? 🙂

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WALLOW WEDNESDAYS VI

It was a tough week but I still managed to pull it through. I finally went on to a cabin crew recruitment and much to my dismay, I didn’t get in. Of course, it hurts and it stings. The pain lingered on for a moment. But there’s nothing I can do but to rise up again. Surprisingly, I’m on a better state now. I’m still alive and kicking.

I don’t want to elaborate further on what happened during that day. All I know is that the dream ignited something inside my soul. It made me realized that this is what I really wanted to do. I may not fully understand what comes with the job and why I badly want it, but all I know is that I am born to do this. I am born to be a flight attendant. It’s what I really want in life.

With that being said, I realized I have a lot of growing up to do especially on how I deal with life. I think part of the reason I didn’t get in was because of how I carry myself. These people see right through me. They’ve seen my flaws and it reflects too much on the outside. It sucks but I really need to improve myself.

I’m still having an identity-crisis. Aside from the girl who loves watching K-dramas, who am I? What are my beliefs? What do I stand for? It seems like I’m just going with the current. I’m going with the flow.

I just stopped. ‘Coz I seemingly can’t think of other words to continue this journal. It dawned on me that I am so imperfect and I don’t like how I handle my life. Is there any guide on how to be tough, independent and sassy just like the other ladies I know from afar? How many trials should I experience for me to become the woman I wanted to be?

It’s really hard to have a face-to-face battle with Life. It’s hard to challenge it.

I have a lot of emotional baggages right now and so I’m not fully updating this corner of my internet. I also realized that nothing is happening in my life. There’s no twist and turns. There’s not much excitement. My life is boring.

If I will write all the thoughts that’s in my mind, I will only be reminded of so many things that I want to forget even for the meantime. I want to bury pending responsibilities or how impulsive I am in almost everything.

 

But please, self, here’s one thing that you have to remember: You are not perfect and you have your own fair share of flaws. And it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. Don’t let hurtful words hinder you to learn more about life and yourself. Don’t let other people dictate what you have to do in life. The only person who knows what’s best for you is yourself. How you handle life is your responsibility; they’re just bystanders. Don’t let them crush you. Don’t let them belittle you. You are your own version of beauty and classy. And one day, you’ll look back with all these dilemmas, with all the people who think less of you and you’ll be glad you’ve experienced all of this. Because this will make you who you are.

You’ll get over this, soon. You’ll find your place in the world. So, forget about the past. Forget about the people who doesn’t appreciate you. Forget about everything that’s blocking your way.

Create a better version of you. Be bold enough. Read more books. Go out some more. Meet new people.

Change your perspective and your perspective will change you.

You are more worthy than a diamond. Shine bright and let your light beams all throughout that surrounds you.

 

xoxo,

urigureumi

Wallow Wednesdays V

Here I am again, with a tinge of hope sparkling as new days lies ahead. I’ve been wanting to  experience life to the fullest because for the last years I kept on controlling myself to achieve new heights, to discover that there are things that is worth celebrating and achieving even thought the world is full of mess. I hope this sense of urgency to live and love life won’t die any soon, because whenever I have this great feeling I always end up being down and weary on the following weeks.

Come fast, November, because I am willing to try another cabin crew recruitment at this local airline. I feel like this is the reason why I live, and every situation and knowledge that I have right now is because this is what I ought to do. I am born to serve while flying around to different places. I am born to be in the different parts of the world and discover more about culture and life than staying in the four corners of my room. I am born to be free, to be the captain of my own ship, to determine my happiness and to love myself. I am at my peak. I am discovering and unraveling more of myself better.

I realized that I don’t need anyone to be my friend. I don’t need the approval of everyone. Slowly I am on my way of not giving a fuck of what everyone thinks of me. I am a certified people-pleaser and I don’t want to form arguments and fights with anyone or everyone. I am almost there. Just few more steps and hurdles; a little bit of practice then and there. Surely, I’m gonna master it.

I feel like I’m into taking the ladder of making my career successful. Right now, I’m not into focusing myself on finding a lover unlike other people in my age. If there will be, then fine but if there’s none, then it’s better as well. I don’t wanna rely my happiness to anyone. I want to be a whole person and I’m not yet ready to give half of it to someone else.

Books

I seriously want to read a book right now. I’m eyeing to read The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman but I can’t buy a copy because I’m broke. It seems like I just want to read Neil Gaiman’s novels  for now. I have a huge respect to this writer. Though I have to admit, American Gods wasn’t the right Neil Gaiman book for me. Nevertheless, I still felt its heart and soul. I felt emotions. And that’s what I like whenever I read a book or even watch series. More than the actions and the gripping scenes, more than its cinematography (which is a big plus point, still), I am more attracted to the story and how it builds up towards the end. I love seeing different characters and discovering their similarities with mine. I love finding out that we have the same dilemma and I love how they conquer everything that conflict throws away.

For some reason, more than the travelling stuff, I want to be more incline with arts now like watching a film and a theater play. I’ve been looking for someone for so many years to just engage in a very meaningful conversation and just talked about our thoughts when it comes to those film and plays we’ve watched. I’m gonna be lucky if that person watch K-dramas as well. Haha! I want to have someone like girlfriday of Dramabeans and just talked about it over some drinks. More than the satisfaction and entertaining factor, I want to talk about the story, characters and even plot holes. I want to talk about what was really good and what went wrong, its upside and downside. I just badly want someone whom I can talk with when it comes to this stuff ‘coz I’m really a fan of these type of art and entertainment.

New Perspective

Let me discover the good things in life one step at a time. Let me discover its rotten and ugly side too. Let me feel. Let me be happy and angry and sad. Let me hope. Let it spark alive. Let me live.

Wallow Wednesdays IV

Hello October!

It had been a long time since the last post and a lot of realizations and never ending worries consumed me for the last two months I haven’t write. I opt not to update this blog because I’m not in the zone to write all the happenings of my life as of the moment.

A very close friend at work resigned because she’ll be pursuing her plans to live abroad with her boyfriend. I’m really happy for her because she’s really following and living up the course of her life. It’s just really sad because I’ve been so attached to her and a year and a half feels so short for us to get to know each other better. I can’t imagine not seeing her at work. She’s one of the few close friends I have and now she’s not there anymore. I’m seriously gonna miss her!

Since it’s her last day, we decided to have fun a little bit and so we went to this high-end bar near at work. It was so fun since it’s my first time going there. For some reason, I think a divine intervention happened last last night, which totally sucks. I got an allergic reaction that caused swollen eyes. I look like a shit and if not had been with the make up and dim lights, I look like someone who just got her eyes done. On the other note, it was my first time after five years that I got drunk again. I don’t know if that’s a good thing ‘coz I feel embarrassed the next day, to those people who saw me on that mess. It was good feeling drunk but the after-effects made me cringe just the thought of what I’ve done.

I decided to be more carefree as the year is approaching to its end. This 2017 is a shitty year for me. It did not bring me luck and fortune and it made me realize how my life is such a mess. Should I expect the same or the worse next year? Still, I’m expecting something good will happen this year. It will compensate all the bad things this year had given me. So please, please, can you just let it happen?? It’s written in the book, in  my fate. I know it will happen. It’s inevitable. So just please, give it to me. So that I could go back to my purpose.

Career-wise, I’m having a lot of thoughts to resign. I’ve been feeling this since the first quarter of the year. I feel like I’ve learned what I learned in that company and now I have to venture to a different company where I can really learn a lot with the field I want to grow. I just really need to get that dream job happen so I can leave the company for good. I’m not gaining anything anymore and I feel I’m under-appreciated. No one’s motivating me. Colleagues and leader don’t trust me. I don’t feel like pushing myself to the limits. I don’t want to do it anymore. But you know, I gotta make a living. So I should endure all these things.

I felt like people are really interested in me right now. It was just so petty ‘coz they’re like bystanders trying to watch my every move now. I don’t want to elaborate anymore but I’m very uncomfortable knowing that there are people who talks about me and my life. I feel like I’m being judged and being laughed at about this certain happening in my life.

Korean Dramas

Still on a drama slump but got to watch dramas one at a time. School 2017 was really fun to watch since it’s been a long time since I’ve watched a high school drama. Kim Sejeong is so adorable that I binge-watched Produce 101 where she was first discovered. I’m currently watching Age of Youth and Temperature of Love. I’m not sure what to expect with the latter but Seo Hyun Jin and Yang Se Jung’s chemistry is a delight to watch. Finally, I can binge-watch Rescue Me (have to schedule that) since it’s finish already. I can’t live-watch it because it’s too stressful for me and I don’t want to wait a week for the next two episodes to come out. That is TORTURE. I will also start watching While you were Sleeping. LEE JUNG SUK! I soooo miss you in dramaland! Eyeing Revolutionary of Love with Siwon as his comeback drama after army and Kang Sora, and This Life is our First with Lee Min Ki and Jung So Min. Wow, talking about drama slump. Hahaha!

Life 

It’s hard to live and the last two months were both haunting and life-defying as well. I want to live my life to the fullest. Enjoy life at its finest and slowly break some barriers and walls. I don’t know what lies ahead but I just wish that life will turn itself 360 degrees and surprise me that there’s more to life than what I’ve grown and accustomed to. So please, you better be good at me and show me that to live is a greatest gift to have. Because I’m seriously not appreciating life right now.