There’s this unexplainable feeling in my chest that I can’t specify into words. All I know is that I want my life to change. I want to explore the world, to meet new people, to learn about life, to widen horizons. I want a total change in my life. A change of habit. A change of lifestyle. The problem is.. I don’t know where to start. I don’t know how to meet new people. It’s awkward for me to start a conversation with someone. I don’t know how to make friends with anyone. I’m not just a Miss Congeniality type of person. I’m used to having a small circle of friends. I don’t like large crowd especially if I’m not close to this crowd. There’s another problem.. How will I explore the world if I’m afraid to be alone? This one is kind of confusing. I want to be alone but the thought of travelling alone makes me like a scaredy cat. I just can’t.. And that’s a problem. I don’t know how.. I don’t know why I can’t do it.
I’m afraid to get out of my comfort zone. That is the main problem. I want change but I can’t even get out of my zone and risk. I always feel like I’m an independent woman when in reality I can’t even go to the dentist alone. You see what I mean? I feel like I don’t have the capacity to change my lifestyle if I won’t risk getting out of my shell, which I think, will really be hard. I know that I should do this on my own but I hope I have someone who will help me with all of this. I am just tired of being this kind of woman who can’t even go out and enjoy and just be laid back with life.
I just hope that before this year ends. I can start changing this life. I am really hoping for a new beginning. I hope that before 2017 starts, there will be a start of something new in my life. Something that I never knew will happen. Something that I never imagine before. Something new. Something grandiose. Something different.
When hope arises, that is the beginning right? Of something wonderful and extraordinary? I can’t wait to reach that part of my life.
Since no one will be cheering me, might as well cheer myself.
Cheers to me, who won’t kill the hope that someday, everything will fall into place.
Cheers to me, who’s craving for a life that is beautiful.
Cheers to me, who can’t wait but be amazed in the world that there is, or there will be.
Cheers to me, who’s been lurking around for four days, haven’t done something productive, but still hoping that someday a fantasy will turn into reality.
And even the hope is slowly dying, I will still lit it up and will stay positive that this life of mine will change.
For more adventures and beyond!