Wallow Wednesdays I

I started this day binge-watching episodes of Korean drama’s Lookout. I was still awake at 12am, in front of my laptop, feeling all sorts of emotions on what’s happening with the heroine and the gang. I just have to stopped around 3am because I really need to sleep. It’s dawn already and if I’ll continue, I might even see the sun rise.

Having still awake at midnight, I sorta did a salubong of Ji Chang Wook’s birthday. He’s 30 by now and set to enlist in the army after his ongoing drama, Suspicious Partner. He’s my oppa that I’m currently obssessed with; he’s even my wallpaper! I happened to watch some Running Man episodes yesterday with him as one of the guests, and, oh boy, he’s just so freaking adorkable! Park Bong Soo is real!

I woke up with the news that Song Joong Ki and Song Hye Kyo announced their marriage this October! I have to checked some sites to know if it’s legit, and it really is! There were speculations even before about them dating but I can’t believe it’s really true! Congratulations, SongSong couple! Now, I have this desire to rewatch Descendants of the Sun again!

Speaking of K-dramas, I just finished Circle: Two Worlds Connected last Monday (I also slept late because I have to finished it!) and it was superb! Too bad the drama is underrated. It doesn’t reach their expected ratings of 3%. Yeo Jin Gu is such a delight to watch! What a brilliant actor. And I’m also having a girl crush to the actress who portrayed Byul/Han Jung Yeon. Her acting delivery as Byul (alien) is just both creepy and lovely to watch. I love how the show did not left its core – love. It’s the driving force of everyone. The brother’s love for each other stays until the end of the episode. From the BETA project up to the Brave New World, they did not stop looking for each other because of love. They want Human B to end because they know that it’s better to keep the memories, even agonizing, than having no memories at all. I’m proud with Le Ho Soo’s redeeming moment. He just pissed me of big time during the former episodes. It’s good that he realizes his mistake at the end and help our team to find Woo-Jin. My favorite character is Lee Hyun Suk. If you read some former entry, I empathize characters like Hyun Suk. He’s will to live ended him to join the bad force. He’s too coward to leave Human B even though he knows it’s wrong. I feel you, bro. I feel you.

I’m dying to find some answers on who really Byul is and where she came from but they use that mystery as their ending to make viewers be more curious. Arrrggghhh, show. Why? Are you hinting a Season 2?

I think I have to stop talking about Circle by now. I shoulda make a separate post about it. Tee hee. But if you’re a lover of Kdramas, you have to watch this. It’s a rare gem in Kdramaland, I tell you!

Book

I’ve been dividing my little time binge-watching dramas and reading a new book, American Gods by Neil Gaiman. I’ve always feel like I’m in an adventure whenever I read Gaiman’s novels. I’m not yet in the mid-half of the novel but it’s slowly unraveling the mystery of the gods. I’m sort of knowing and understanding who’s Mr. Wednesday. I’m slowly falling in love with the book. I will always be amazed with Neil Gaiman’s writing style and the richness of his imaginations to come up with this kind of stories.

Other stuff

I’m financially unstable right now. It’s my fault for being this way. In my quest to enjoy this life, I’ve been indulging too much to expensive delight such as theater plays, which is such an expensive hobby. I have a lot of expenses lately but my salary is not cooperating. I realized that if you want to enjoy life greatly, you must have money! And a lots of it.

Work and Life

I’m having an utter delight with these korean kids at work. They’re four siblings – oppa, unni and an identical twin sisters. They’re all so adorable! I’ve been wanting to develop a relationship with these kids so whenever I got the chance I talk to them a lot. I find out that Twin A doesn’t want to go with unnie and Twin B. The way the story was told to me was just so kyeopta!

During the first quarter of the year, I’m dreading to go to work. That was the worst so far. I know I’m not that fond with work anymore but those months I was just really dragging my way to work. Add on the emotional turmoil of the events surrounding my life. However, things just went on 360 degrees. Work became my stress-reliever now. There’s still that lingering feeling of not going to work but once I’m there, I don’t feel the passing of time. I like talking to kids and knowing a little about them. Maybe part of the reason is I started liking the activities assigned to our team. Then there were the “korean kids” who are very cute and adorable. Work became a safe haven.

I’ll be trying another cabin crew recruitment this Saturday and I’m feeling nervous and lazy at the same time. I should give it a try. I let go of the opportunity last May that cause me to lurk around and be tired of everything. I never really know why I wanted this job so bad. Yeah, it was a promise. A part of the past. But it’s different now. I’m no longer the girl in the past. I’m a brand new person today yet I still want it. Well, not as much as before but I feel like I belong to that career. I feel like that job is for me. A lot of people are telling me that I look like a cabin crew and pushing me to try it but it’s not as easy as it seems. Being a cabin crew is like going through a needle. It’s not just about the looks but on how people see me. It’s about my personality. It’s about myself and how I interact with people. I realized that first impression lasts.

Having said that, I’m just glad that I am getting to know myself better. My flaws and all that. It’s just the middle of the year but 2017 is proving me that this is not my best year. There were lots of things that happened, personal and national. I’m just scared of everything. I’m scared of the future, of the decisions I chose. Sometimes this is the reason why I’m tired to live this life dilligently. Hope will fire up only for it to die down once I remember those dreading events. What’s the use of living the life if it will only lead to destruction? What’s the use of dreaming if it will only end?

I hope that there will be good news at the end of the week. I hope to live even if it’s hard. I hope to dream even if there’s still no light at the end of the tunnel. I hope to pursue grander things in life. I hope to find a different purpose. I hope. Hope. Even it’s just merely a word, but the intensity of the meaning, will always lead me to survive eagerly. ‘Coz this is what Life is all about. You pass through the calm waves only to find a storm. And once the storm is over, you rest in the serenity of the waves only for it to get bigger again until you meet another raging storm. Yes, life is a cycle. It’s a never-ending journey through the unknown.

And while I’m in it, might as well fight the raging storm and indulge through the calm waves. As the song say, let’s just dance through life.

 

PS. I have a lot of errands to do but I’m just so tired to get up. Geez. This laziness is consuming me.

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